Life in Lists #14
a loose collection of things I’ve learned this year
Things I learned this year:
It pays to own your interests and find things out for yourself:
One of my most played (and enjoyed) games this year was Starfield. And if you look online you’ll see internet feedback on it is wildly divisive, despite it being relatively well-reviewed and played.
(Seriously, the hate mob is insane. And to get so worked up over a video game. Dang).
We depend on reviews and rating scores to make decisions about what to consume. At the heart of it, we’re asking the question: “is this worth my increasingly limited time?”
And we look for validation to see if other people think the same way we do. But sometimes it’s worth shutting off the internet firehouse, and making decisions for yourself.
On that note…
Social media rewards and amplifies people who are loud and angry:
Especially in any fandom culture, rage-baiting is a thing. Social media platforms and the Internet at large amplify controversy, angry and emotionally charged content.
Spend enough time on the Internet and you’ll lose faith in humanity. But realise this, you are disproportionately exposed to negative feedback and opinions. the majority of people are silent observers (or are happily consuming the thing) rather than writing paragraphs or leaving comments about how much they hate the thing.
So what you’re seeing is a very loud, vocal minority. And psychologically speaking you also remember the negative stuff more than positive so that’s why negative stuff seems larger than life and it seems more prevalent across the internet, or in personal anecdotes
You’re also more likely not to leave positive reviews - people who are satisfied with a product are either spending time enjoying the product, or are moving on with their lives. People who didn’t enjoy a product can also drop it and move on without saying anything or making a fuss of it.
Don’t be afraid to block things
Attention is short, and there’s so many demands on our attention. Having that awareness to catch yourself in a negative thought spiral or doomscrolling is one of the best ways to take back your attention (along with the “don’t see this/don’t recommend channel button”.)
As annoying as technology gets sometimes, it’s also a powerful enabler
Imagine, me writing words that I can push out with a press of a button or reaching the equivalent of a concert hall full of people thanks to some undersea cables around the world?
That’s pretty awesome!
AI is everywhere today, and tbh I’m a bit sick of hearing all about it. Mental reminder for me to look on the bright side of things - how can I see AI as a tool to test things and free up my time, rather than something that will steal my job?
I like Raja Rajamannar’s optimistic take on the topic,
Marketing in 2024 will be tremendously exciting for those who are open and curious. Think about it — 10 years ago, we could have only dreamed of the capabilities that are at our fingertips today!
There has never been a better time for marketers to approach the field with whole-brain thinking — science and art, working together. In doing so, we can use AI to test new tactics and strategies at scale, while freeing up our time and energy for bigger-picture thinking that can have a positive impact on the world around us.
“Shoot first, aim later”
OK, this is a gross simplification, but I realise I overthink a lot about things. Thoughts spiral and I think myself out of doing something. The solution that worked for me? Setting myself a time limit to do the thing. And I need to publish something regardless of how I feel about it at the end of the time limit. Reminds me of how I started my business in the first place - get a website done within 2 hours, and start hunting for clients. Launching in beta with an initial proof of concept, and iterating as I go based on feedback seems to be my preferred way to start new things
Bigger isn’t always better
Some things just don’t scale. The personal touch, the intimate sense of community in small groups, the 1:1 attention you get from a personalised plan. As much as we want to scale and grow bigger, there are things that’s difficult to maintain.
says it best here.Work in progress: still learning the value of rest
Big question of 2023 posed by my therapist. “Who is Joshua if he’s not producing?” - I’m still learning to answer the question - even now as I have the week before new years off I’m still itchy to 1) work on client work due in January, 2) dive into one of my many undone courses or 3) read business related books.
Besides preparing for the new year and budgeting, the aim is to veg out on my sofa, play Baldur’s Gate 3 and spend time with my wife.
Figure out what kind of care you need:
One struggle this year was figuring out how to articulate my emotional needs to my wife (granted, my wife is excellent at reading me and putting words to my feelings), but this was also an exhausting role and to be fair, performing this kind of emotional labour was not her responsibility. I’ve spent so long dissociating from my body and my emotional needs, and this year especially was big on listening to my body speak, especially in uncomfortable situation. I haven’t mastered those skills, but it’s definitely better than before. Celebrate progress, right?
Buying back your time on tasks you don’t want to do is one of the best uses of money
I’m a sticker for cleanliness, and grew up believing that everything should be done without help. But that was a sure path to exhaustion, burnout and whole lot of other not so nice things. We hired cleaning help to come in and help clean our house twice a month, and it’s by far the best use of money this year.
On trial periods with clients
Trial periods are for both sides to evaluate if there’s a fit working together. As much as they’re evaluating you, you’re also evaluating them.
Fun stuff
End of year also means lots of reflections, and my wife and I were busy over the last few days discussing our year ahead, planning our finances and reviewing how we’ve spent our resources and time this year
Food! We both work from home, so we did our own Christmas party over several weeks. Yay!
Homemade cheese board (who knew eating cheese with crackers and chocolate would be so good?
Seafood pasta with wine with Christmas bake-off on the TV
Sukiyaki (I’ve always loved eating sukiyaki but always found it ridiculously expensive.) So we did our own version
Steak! And I learned how to do a lovely brown mushroom sauce as well.
Embracing my hobbies. Gaming, reading, supporting my favourite artists. Separate post coming on my top games of 2023
Word I’m thinking about for 2023 - depth year. From my reviews this week it’s clear I’ve been doing a lot of digital hoarding. I have a huge number of unread books, undone courses and unplayed games. So my personal aim for 2024 - reduce my buying habits but spend more time engaging with the stuff I already have. I don’t regret spending the money but I’ll love to actually unlock the value from the things I’ve bought.
❤️❤️❤️